Ted Cruz Proposes Bill to Rename Democratic Party as 'Socialist Snowflake Sanctuary'

Washington D.C. - In a move that has left Democrats shaking in their safe spaces, Senator Ted Cruz has unleashed a scathing proposal to rebrand the Democratic Party as the "Socialist Snowflake Sanctuary," exposing what he claims to be the party's descent into absurdity.

"Let's face it, folks, the Democratic Party has become a breeding ground for delicate snowflakes who crumble at the slightest hint of opposition," declared Cruz, his words dripping with disdain. "These are the same people who think a difference of opinion is a human rights violation and believe that pronouns are more important than policy."

Cruz wasted no time in providing examples to support his argument, citing instances of Democratic lawmakers retreating to their safe spaces and crying "triggered" at the drop of a hat.

"Remember when Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez threw a fit because someone looked at her funny on Twitter?" Cruz asked, a smirk playing across his lips. "Or how about when Senator Chuck Schumer burst into tears because someone disagreed with him on the Senate floor? It's like a never-ending episode of 'The Real Snowflakes of D.C.'"

As Cruz's proposal gained traction among his fellow Republicans, Democrats were left scrambling to defend themselves against accusations of being soft, spineless, and utterly out of touch with reality.

"This is just another desperate attempt by Ted Cruz to distract from his own failings and shortcomings," declared one Democratic strategist, her voice tinged with frustration. "Instead of addressing the issues that matter to the American people, he's resorting to name-calling and mudslinging. It's pathetic, but what else can you expect from someone who thinks Cancun is an appropriate vacation destination during a crisis?"

But while Democrats may dismiss Cruz's proposal as political theater, many Americans are nodding in agreement, tired of what they see as the incessant whining and hand-wringing from the left.

"Enough with the snowflakes already!" exclaimed one exasperated voter, his voice echoing the sentiment of millions across the country. "It's time to put an end to this nonsense and get back to the business of governing. If the Democrats can't handle a little criticism without melting down, maybe it's time for them to find a new line of work."

As the debate over Cruz's proposal rages on, one thing is abundantly clear: in the battle for the soul of America, the snowflakes are out in full force - and Ted Cruz is determined to melt them down to size.